Thomas was out walking his dog when he came upon the zombie. His dog began growling and then whining. The dog was trying to drag Thomas home. Actually, the dog was trying to get home whether Thomas did or not. This wasn’t a loyalty situation to the dog. Every instinct in that dog said, “Get home!!”.

The zombie looked the way you’d expect a zombie to look. Real dark skin, where it had skin, sunken cheeks and, for some reason, a stiff walk. Going to rise from the grave and be an undead shouldn’t affect the knee joints. Somehow, it always does though. Thomas saw the zombie approaching, walking stiffly and sort of dragging one leg.

The dog was really wailing now. It was also pissng all over the place. Thomas was pissed off at the dog for not using the lawn. He was also pissed off at the zombie. Thomas bought into the Culpepper Estates to avoid this kind of riff-raff. Thomas didn’t believe the zombie was a resident, that’s for sure. He’d have to bring this up at the next association meeting. Has to be some rule to keep riff-raff visitors out.

As the zombie got closer there was an awful stench to it. Thomas thought he must have been rooting around in people’s garbage, although he never smelled garbage this awful. Guy probably hasn’t bathed in a decade. A homeless person! That’s what he is, a homeless person! Thomas had never seen one before. Now he knew why they were homeless. Who’d let someone like this in the house.

“Eat!”, the zombie cried out.

“What? Eat? What are you talking about?’, Thomas replied. Great. Homeless, stinking and crazy.

“Dog! Eat dog!”, the zombie yelled out.

“I will not! I paid $1500 for this purebred. Why would I- oh, you want to eat it. You’re not going to, that for certain sure”, Thomas answered.

“Hungry! Kill dog and eat”, the zombie went on.

“I said no! I’m going to call security and have you removed from here immediately”, Thomas told the zombie.

Security arrived at the scene and took a look around. There was a dog sitting there staring at nothing. There was some old man wiping his face with a filthy handkerchief. There was a cellphone laying on the sidewalk.

“Sir, are you alright? Did you call us? Do you need assistance?”, one of the guards asked.