There is an x-ray technician in a certain state I won’t name. I won’t name it because I’ve written enough about West Virginia. This technician is named X.Ray Raymond. His mama says, “He was borned to be one a them thar x-ray teckonitons.”

He works at Better Hope Hospital. Better Hope is a for profit hospital. No matter what they charge, they know they won’t collect most of the fees. They cut corners where they can. One of the cost saving things is lead shielding for the technicians.

“If the patient don’t need no shieldin’, don’t reckon the technician do either”, a hospital spokesman is quoted as saying.

They got a grant once to put lead shielding in. As with most government grants it was a lot more than needed. So, they shielded the whole room. The x-rays came out blank. The doctors were saying things like, “This here ain’t no help.”

And

“I knew he was a brainless twit. I didn’t need this to prove it.”

They then ripped the shielding out and sold the lead. Then they went back to hiring a new technician every couple of years. This was due to the technicians dying on them. X.Ray Raymond must have a heck of an immunity system. He’s been at it for fifteen years. In fact, he’s now a Tech II, sort of a boss.

“You get to tell them when to take an x-ray.”

“I think the doctors do that.”

He called a meeting of all the technicians. It was to be a pep rally. They all showed up. There was X.Ray himself, Mae R. Maenot, and Bubster Raymond, X.Ray’s little brother.

“Alright! Gonna do some x-rayin’ today! Let’s go get ‘em. If theys bleedin’, just hose ‘em down, take a snapshot, and then roll ‘em out a there!”

X.Ray might not be the best technician going. He may not be that good. He may not be competent but he gets paid every week. Some of his money goes to the hair payment to Dr. Shell’s Hair Replacement Center. X.Ray is barely keeping ahead of the hair loss. X-ray went to the hospital Administrator to get a retirement plan.

“Now, hold on, X.Ray, just hold on a cotton pickin’ minute. You knows, and I knows, you ain’t never goin’ to live to no retirement age no way. I’ll give you five dollars a year more.”

X.Ray thought about that.

“Okay, it be a deal.”