Took my wolverine to the vet for his shots and a checkup. He caused some excitement there. All the cats jumped to the ceiling, dug in, and refused to come down. The dogs all wet themselves and so did their owners. Wolverines do have an attitude. They make rotweilers and pit bulls seem easy going by contrast. The pet assistants decided to take the wolverine right in to settle thing down.

     The assistant came in and stared at the wolverine. The wolverine stared back.

     “What is this?”

     “A wolverine.”

     “Does it bite? Can I pet it?”

     “It bites and you can pet it depending on how partial you are to that arm.”

     “Maybe I better send the doctor right in.”

     The vet came right in. She looked at the wolverine and said she knew what it was. She saw pictures of it in vet school. Didn’t know you could have one as a pet.

     “It is a pet, right? I mean, you didn’t find this wandering around the neighborhood.”

     “Yea, it’s a pet. His name is BK.”

     “BK?”, she Asked.

     “Butt Kicker.”

     “Should we put a muzzle on it?”

     “Lots of luck doing that.”

     “Yes, I see. I wish I could just give him a pill.”

     “No, you don’t want that. You don’t want to get anywhere near his mouth. With a needle you at least have a weapon.”

     The vet thought that one over. “Why do you have a wolverine as a pet? You collect exotic animals?”

     “Nah, I don’t even like animals that much. I sure don’t like this wolverine. Thing is, I hate my neighbor’s dog more.”

     “Your neighbor’s dog?”

     “Yep. My neighbor has a mastiff. It the biggest dog I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen cows that were smaller. He’s allowed to run free. Where he runs is in my yard. He makes a huge mess.”

     “Why not call the dog warden?”

     “Did. He said he’d give my neighbor a ticket and warn him. He also said the one thing he wouldn’t do is try to snatch that dog. Can’t say as I blame him.”

     “So”, she asked,” how does the wolverine fit in to this?”

     “I let the wolverine loose when that mutt came into the yard. First I heard the bark. It was like thunder. Then I heard the growling. That was like a train going by. Then I heard the yelping. I tell you, that was like music.”

     “The mastiff stays out of your yard now?”

     “The goof won’t even come outside. My neighbor’s the one with the mess now.”