"Wake up! this is your lucky day!"

Winky sort of woke up. It was somewhere between waking up and stirring in his sleep. Most of Winky's life was spent that way. It all depended on the amount of wine, usually not enough, and the quality, never very high. One thing Winky knew, asleep or awake, drunk or semi-sober, was that this was not his lucky day.

"I'm here to help you!"

Winky looked at the guy with his one good eye. The other one was glued shut by some kind of pus. That or he was too tired to open both of them at the same time. It was some punk kid in a suit and a decent haircut. Winky could tell a decent haircut when he saw one. Winky usually cut his own when he thought about it.

"I'm with the Jimmy Carter Save America Program!"

The guy said that just as if Winky gave a hoot about it. Winky didn't even know who Jimmy Carter was. Winky had been long gone a long, long time. He didn't think he'd missed anything by not knowing. Now, what does this guy want?

"I'm here to help you get back on your feet!"

Winky listened to the unbridled enthusiasm and, deciding he didn't know what unbridled meant, spat a huge wad of phlegm at the guy. The guy was too quick.

"Wow! Almost got me with that. Boy, that looks terrible."

Great. A connoisseur of phlegm. Winky thought it looked an awful lot like the stuff he'd been drinking last night or whenever. It does look terrible. Oh, great, now the guy has me looking at it, Winky thought.

"We can get you cleaned up, some decent food, some decent clothes, a decent place to live, some decent job training and a new lease on life."

New lease on life? Why would I want that?, Winky thought. Jeez, been on the streets ever since Nixon. Unless that was a bad dream too. Wonder if this guy would go away if I whacked him with a bottle? No, look at that grin. This guy is a believer. No, going to have to do something drastic. Going to have to make an effort. Going to have to find a new alley to sleep in too.

Winky, with a terrific effort, got to his feet. He looked the Carter guy right in the eye. He then stuck his finger down his throat and barfed on the guy. The guy tried to dodge it but wasn't quick enough. Winky also had a wide spray.

"Why did you do that?, you worthless piece of-"

"Well, you said it was my lucky day. You didn't say it was yours."