Weddings are great. There’s that special moment where that woman and that man are in love. Usually. It doesn’t mean they’ll stay in love. It's a real crapshoot except that you get better odds in craps. It’s a special day that will be remembered fondly. It’s a serious time. There are, however, a few good laughs. I love that part too.

     Went to a nephew’s wedding in Cleveland, Ohio. That’s a little funny in and of itself. The whole family was there. We aren’t the type to pass up a free meal no matter what it cost us to get there. Most of us were staying at the same hotel. I got my older sister, her husband, my baby sister and her husband and went to my brother’s door. When he opened it he had on a raggedy pair of shorts and that’s it. We told him he was a little underdressed. He said he’d get ready when it was time. We told him it was time. He said that, no, the wedding was three o’clock.

     My sister Boo's husband asked him who told him that. Rick said, “Mom did and- oh, crap! Get the cars started and I’ll be right down.”

     I had lived there for a long time so I lead the procession to the church. Rick was getting finished dressing in my car while I drove as quickly as I thought I could get away with. I knew where the church was and knew we had plenty of time. Problem is that I misjudged how long a Cleveland block was. The wedding was at one. We got there at twelve-fifty eight. Another sister, the mother of the groom, was waiting for us.

     “ Where have you been. The wedding about to start and you’re just getting here?”

     I patted Pat on the head and told her, “ The weddings at one. It’s not one. Why are you upset?”

     Rick told her that she’d wet herself and that was embarrassing to us. She looked but she was dry. Now she was really upset. Not as upset as we were when we got seated. Everyone was seated in the center rows of pews. Everyone but us. We were off to the right. That upset us. As Boo said, “ It’s the smart thing to do but none of them is that smart.”

     We got ourselves seated and were waiting for the wedding to start. since we had gotten there at the last minute we didn’t figure on doing a lot of waiting. We aren’t good at that. Time went by and the wedding didn’t start and it didn’t start. Pat turned to me and Rick and told us not to start anything. Us? Why us? Why is it always us? Why are we always presumed guilty, even before something happens? Yes, we have a history and a reputation but still.

     Fortunately, our sister Ellie’s husband got us off the hook. We heard this “Jeez!” Then a giggle from Ellie. We all looked over to see Alvin cutting the price tag off his new suit. Rick leaned over and told him that being proud of his new suit was fine but bragging in church? OK, it’s not great material but we got a laugh out of it. We also earned another glare from Pat.

     I leaned forward and told Joe, the father of the groom, that it was a nice suit he had on. Joe hadn’t had a suit on for twenty-seven years since his own wedding. He said thanks but he’d rather be wearing work clothes and be at a bar having a short one and a tall one. I leaned forward again and told Pat, “ Next time someone gives you a suit for Joe, take it to a cleaners and get the smell of formaldehyde out.”

     Rick told her that,” a dead man’s suit looked natural on him.”

     Finally the priest comes out and announces that it’s time to get the show on the road. He looks at us, crosses himself, looks over at the groom and best man and shoots them a “look.” They hustled right over. The groom said later that it was a “nun” look. He figured that the priest might be a nun dressed as a priest. he wasn’t going to take the chance. The priest shot us the same look. It even scared Alvin and he’s only Catholic by marriage.

     Finally, the wedding took place. Now we could move on to the reception. Cleveland has a law that you must hire an off-duty cop as security at any event where alcohol is being served. Prevents a lot of the nonsense. My sisters thought that was going to present my brother and me with a big problem. Nonsense. We came to Cleveland prepared for everything.

     We had disguises.