May Snyder and her sister Evie decided to bury their dog, Queenie, up at the lake. They and the dog had spent many a pleasant afternoon there. They decided to bury Queenie because she was dead.

On the way to the lake they passed by Duke’s, the local discount place. They saw that Duke’s had a sale going on. They figured they may as well stop in. The dog wasn’t going to get any more dead while they shopped. After they came back out and went to the car is when they noticed that the dog wasn’t there. Now, this was a puzzle.

Deputy Joe Bob pulled in beside them. He needed a few thing before going home. He saw the Snyder sisters looking in their car with puzzled looks on their faces. He asked if everything was all right. They told him what happened.

“Well, that’s a rotten thing, dog stealin. No one should oughta steal someone’s dog. I think-”

“Joe Bob, you ain’t been listenin none too close. The dog was dead. Why would a body steal a dead dog?”, asked May.

“Miss Snyder, I ain’t the smartest guy around but I ain’t stupid. Of course no one goin to steal a dead dog. I reckon the dog weren’t all that dead. Someone came along, sees the dog, then steals it.”

“Joe Bob, you right. You ain’t the smartest guy around. That dog be as dead as Evie’s man, God bless his poor soul. I guess I knows the difference atween a live dog and a dead one. Queenie was a dead one.”

“Miss Snyder, I can’t go reportin a dognappin if the dog is dead. The Sheriff would have my butt for sure.”

“You watch that mouth. I don’t care if you are a deputy. You start gettin nasty I’ll bust you a good one.”

“But, I mean, uh, Miss Snyder, I just can’t report a stolen dead dog. The Sheriff would laugh his fool head off at me.”

“Why, I reckon he would. It’s the truth, though. Here’s another truth for you, Joe Bob. I hope you learn somethin from it, too. Joe Bob, no one asked you to do anything. Now, git.”

Joe Bob got. He left the store and decided to go home. One of the perks of this job was getting to drive a Crown Victoria. Got to take it home. The Sheriff said use it but don’t get it all scratched up and keep it clean. Now seemed like a good time to take it home and clean it up.

As Joe Bob approached Main Street he saw Old Man Clanton standing there. Joe Bob decided to check and see if he was OK.

“Hello, Mr. Clanton. Are you OK?”

Old Man Clanton peered at Joe Bob for a moment. Then, a light turned on. He said to the deputy, “Why. hello to you, there, Joe Boob.”

“Bob”, Joe Bob told him. Again.

Old Man Clanton got a bit confused at times. He’d be walking along to someplace and forget where he was going. Then, he’d forget where he came from. He’d stand on a corner looking confused. Someone would notice him and call his daughter to come and get him. He always was a bit confused but just got worse as he got older. He’d been a little confused ever since World War Two. He got shot three different times, twice in the head. People say he hasn’t been right since then.

Joe Bob offered Old Man Clanton a ride home. The old guy accepted and stayed quiet on the way. As Joe Bob pulled into the yard, Old Man Clanton’s daughter came out of the house. She asked her daddy if he was all right.

“Sure. You notice that Joe Boob is drivin the cab now. Pay him but don’t give him no tip. He can’t drive worth nothin.”