Joe Bob was having a bad week. He got into hot water by arresting a DEA agent making a buy as part of a sting operation. Joe Bob had forgotten until it was too late. The DEA agent told him that he’d arrest that, “idiot deputy if he so much as had an aspirin on him.” The sheriff was pretty pissed off about it.

Joe Bob was now patrolling the old strip mine area. Nothing there that needed patrolled. No one lived there. The only people that went there were lovers and dumpers. Joe Bob wasn’t too concerned about either one. The sheriff couldn’t think of a single way for Joe Bob to get into trouble out there. He was wrong.

Joe Bob made a frantic call to the dispatcher to report a body. “Mabel, whoever it is is jus’ lyin’ thar at the bottom of the gulch.”

“Well, where exactly are you?”, Mabel asked.

“Why, in the old stripping job. You know that.”

“No, I mean exactly where. That a big area out there.”

“Oh, yea, it is. I, uh, I don’t know for sure jus’ where I am. I come about a mile in and made a right and then a left. Does that help you any?”

“Yea, that’ll work. Can you get tot the victim. You know, to render assistance?”

“To what?”

“Help! To help the victim!”

Joe bob looked down the hill and shuttered. “Well, you’re right. I reckon the EMT’s will spot my car. I’m goin’ down.”

“OK. Joe Bob? You be real careful, ya hear?”

Joe Bob started down the hill. The victim wasn’t moving at all. Joe Bob was doing fine the first half. a little slipping and sliding but not to bad, then his feet went and he was sliding down the hill feet first. His gunbelt caught on a root and turned him around. Now he was going down head first and gaining speed. When he arrived at the bottom he was unconscious.

The EMT crew saw the car. They looked down the hill and saw Joe Bob and an unidentified victim. They got back in the ambulance and drove off. They drove around the bend and down the hill. They got to Joe Bob and the victim. They put Joe Bob in the ambulance and drove to the hospital.

Joe Bob woke up and saw the IV in his arm. He passed out. In the ER he woke up again. He was naked and the doctor was working on him. The doctor told him it was mostly bruises, cuts, and abrasions. He’d be fine.

“Doc, what about the victim. Alive?”

“Huh? What victim? You’re the only one they brought in. Let me check on that.”

The doctor went out and talked to the EMT guys. He asked about the other victim. Like, where was he or she.

“Doc, there was no other victim. What there was was a mannequin. Joe Bob done hurt hisself rescuing a mannequin. Jeez, that Joe Bob.”