Rudy and Rufus decided to go fishing in the Wabash River. Nothing unusual in that. They’d been fishing the river all their lives. They’d take their rods, their bait, and , most importantly, their beer and fish all day. What happened this time should never have been the big deal it turned out to be. The Sheriff thought that the whole thing was just something that got out of hand. Mostly because of Deputy Joe Bob.

The Crawford boys were driving along the side of the river and spotted Rudy and Rufus sitting on a rock fishing. When they got into town they ran into Mathilda, Rudy’s wife. They mentioned seeing the boys.

“Well”, Mathilda said, “them boys has always fished the river.”

“Thing is”, one of the Crawfords remarked, “they weren’t so much fishin’ as they was sleepin’. Either that or they’s dead. Leastways, they weren’t movin’ none.”

That got Mathilda’s interest. She got the Crawford boys to drive her to where her husband and his brother were fishing. She called out to them but they were dead to the world. They weren’t really dead, naturally, they were passed out. Either way they weren’t in any shape to answer. Mathilda got very nervous and told the Crawford to get the Sheriff’s Office to come out. The deputy that got the call was Joe Bob.

Joe Bob arrived and got the story, such as it was. He looked out at the boys and called to them. He got no response either. Mathilda told him to go out and check on them. Joe Bob didn’t want to wade out into the river and get all wet. He told Mathilda to go out and check them herself. They began yelling at each other. Then Mathilda slapped Joe Bob. Hard. Right in the mouth.

Joe Bob couldn’t whack her with his nightstick. The Sheriff wouldn’t think too highly of a 200 lb. deputy whacking an eighty pound woman. Joe Bob twisted her around and put handcuffs on her. He sat her in the patrol car. Then the Crawford boys mentioned that Rudy and Rufus were still out on the river, laying on a rock, and don’t think one of us is going out to check on them.

Shoot, Joe Bob thought. That little gal outsmarted me after all. Dang! Now he would have to go out and check on them.

Joe Bob got about half the way to the rock when he went under. There must be a deep hole here and Joe Bob couldn’t swim. He managed to grab hold of another rock and yelled for the Crawford boys to go get help.

They went to the fire station up the road and found a couple of guys washing the truck. The firemen told the Crawfords to call the Sheriff. while they went to help. The Crawfords called the Sheriff and, for good measure, called the State Police and reported an officer in trouble.

When the Sheriff got there he saw two fire trucks, three State Police patrol cars, and some onlookers. Naturally, he thought the worst. He went up to the State Policeman in charge for a report.

“Sheriff, Joe Bob is hangin’ on to that there rock like his life depends on it.”

“Shoot, it does. He can’t swim.”

“Then why’s he in the river.”

“God only knows. Hey, Joe Bob, why are you in the river?”

Joe Bob yelled back to the Sheriff and told him why. It seemed stupid to the State Policemen. Truth is, it seemed stupid to the Sheriff too. The firemen were trying to figure out how to pull Joe Bob out of the river without getting wet when Rudy woke up. He saw Joe Bob hanging onto the rock and dived in. He got a hold of Joe Bob and got him to shore.

Joe Bob was still sputtering his thanks when Rudy saw Mathilda in the patrol car. He turned to Joe Bob and asked him, “I saves your big ol’ butt and you done arrested my woman? I’d a known that I’d a let you drown.”

Joe Bob, truly embarrassed, told him it was all a mistake. He didn’t plan on charging her with assaulting a police officer. He’d let her go right away. He unlocked the cuffs as the Sheriff stood there rolling his eyes. Mathilda ran over to Rudy to make sure he was OK. Then she ran back to Joe Bob.

She slapped him on the other side of his face.