Little Donnie got his first pair of glasses at age four. It changed his whole outlook on the world. Now, he saw that he had only one right hand instead of three or four.

The other kids loved play tag in those “this is fun despite being aggressive and destructive to the ego” days. The kids loved to tag Donnie and watch him being “it”. He’d go to tag someone and tag air. The other kids wouldn’t even run. They knew, even at that age, the odds were four or five to one in their favor.

None of this has much to do with this story except the vision part. Little Donnie also saw thirty bats swooping down from the ridge when it was just a couple. He’d run screaming into the house.

As he grew older his vision corrected itself fairly well. One day, his friend, Pukie, reminded him that he was afraid of bats.

“No, Pukie, I used to be. I’m not anymore. Except for the vampire bats. They worry me.”

“There’s no such thing as vampire bats, you twit.”

“Now, Pukie, that’s not true. You’ve seen all the Bela Legosi movies. There he stands in the dark, foggy courtyard staring up at the second story bedroom window. He’s a vampire. they like dark, foggy nights. There’s a beautiful virgin up there wearing a sheer nightie. He’s looking up and then looking around for a ladder.

Then he smacks himself in the head. He can turn into a bat and fly up there. So, he does. Then he turns back into Bela. He’s a vampire. You trying to tell me that he’s not a vampire when he turns into a bat?”

“I’m not telling you anything except you’re a senseless twit.”