Not a Real Babe

The boys were at the Longhorn, as usual. Before they were married and settled down they almost lived there. Tonight was only a nostalgic visit. They told their wives they were going bowling.

“Man, that’s a good body”, Carly said of the singer.

“That’s a great body!”, Tommy responded.

“That’s a guy in drag, you dummies”, Fred told them.

“No, that’s a babe”, Carly said.

“Yea, I know a woman when I see one”, Tommy added.

“There was an article in the paper about it. Figured you guys read it and wanted to check it out”, Fred told them.

Now, Carly and Tommy weren’t the brightest stars in the universe. They were more like dwarf stars.

“Good body, though”, Carly said.

“Good? Great!”, Tommy argued.

Restrictions

Willy was trying to explain it to the cop that pulled him over.

“I’m wearing contact lenses!”

“Sir, this license says Restrictions: Glasses required. You aren’t wearing glasses. After I write this ticket, I can’t let you drive the car”.

“Contact lenses are the same as glasses!”, Willy yelled.

“Sir, don’t yell at the officer. Glasses are different from glasses. Even if I gave you that, how do I know you’re wearing contacts?”

Willy popped them out to show the cop. He started to do so and they fell onto the road.

“Don’t move!”, he yelled.

The cop jumped back, pulled his gun and pointed it at Willy.

“Sir, don’t do that”.

Willy was allowed to retrieve the contacts. He looked at them.

“Man! One of them’s torn”.

“Well, sir, you can’t drive now for sure.”

“Wait! I have my glasses with me!”, Willy yelled .

“Sir, you need to quit this yelling. I’m getting nervous. Yes, I see you have glasses. You should have been wearing them. I’m going to have to write another ticket”.

“But, I was wearing contacts until they fell on the ground!”

“Sir, the yelling. I’m also going to write you one for littering”.