From a local tv newscast.

"A man disguised as a tree robbed the branch bank of Bank America on Sam Rittenberg this afternoon. He escaped with an estimated 6700 dollars. Disguised as a tree."

Then she burst out laughing. As well she should.

I used some sources I have, rumors and gossip, to get the details of the case up to now. The first police on the scene was a patrol officer. He called for the detectives and asked for a description of the holdup man.

"He looked like a tree, an oak tree", the teller said.

Oh, no, the cop thought. I ain’t getting into this one. I’ll let the detectives handle this one from the start.

Detectives Smitherton and Colby arrived at the scene, as did their lieutenant who happened to be in the area. That pissed the detectives off. The lieutenant wasn’t too bright. He was related to the Mayor and that was what counted.

Smitherton asked the teller to describe the robber.

"He looked like a tree, an oak tree", the teller said.

Smitherton felt his blood pressure going up.

"Okay, lady, we can do this here or we can do this downtown!", he yelled.

Then another teller spoke up. "Yea, he looked like an oak tree."

"Oh. another one. Okay, let’s take a ride downtown."

"Hold on, officer. I’m the branch manager here. I think the holdup may have caused some nervousness in my tellers. He didn’t look like an oak tree. He looked like a magnolia tree."

"Oh, no, sir", one of the tellers said. "He had a white rose in his, uh, branch, I guess you’d call it. He only looked like a magnolia, He was definitely an oak tree."

Smitherton felt his gorge rising. He called his lieutenant over.

"Yea, Smitty?"

"I have some days coming. I want to take them starting right here and now."