Now they’re introducing a new type of toilet. Why? You sit, do whatever, flush and leave. (Remember to wash your hands). How do you improve on that? Here’s how.

First of all, you don’t flush. They have this tower that forces the water down so fast it doesn’t even touch the surfaces. Uh, sometimes you want the water to touch the surfaces. Otherwise, you have to wad up some toilet paper and wipe the bowl, gagging as you do. How is this an improvement?

The best(?) part is that it directs the water at your butt. Think about that one. Enough pressure to avoid the bowl is being directed at your butt and whatever else may be in the area. Doesn’t that sound great! If it does, go out to a fire hydrant, drop your drawers and open the hydrant. Turn around. (This has to be done quickly). If you like that, buy one of these things.