Things To Say

Everyone gets into situations where they feel left out of the conversation. It’s usually because you don’t know what’s being said. It’s sounds like English but not quite. This happens at receptions and parties. This is especially true if most of the people there are better educated and make more money than you do. In other words, snobbery. Like this:

“By co-mingling the superior, more valuable sectors of the DNA chain we should, and I might add be compelled, be capable of developing a undistorted human species, eliminating the deficient aspects and conditions of DNA and diminishing the possibilities of defective and marred reproductive results.”

What in the world can you say to that? You don’t even know what the goof’s talking about. (Here's a clue: it's you). Here’s a good response that sounds like something but isn’t:

“Man is continually, and invariably, constrained in search of infinity by the nearness of existent time”.

No one will know what you mean and what it has to do with the conversation. No one will ask, either.

Art snobs are the most fun. A group of them will be admiring a painting you wouldn’t put in a garage sale and going on about the artist’s interpretation, the bold strokes, the muted colors that offset, compensate and counterbalance yet don’t diminish or moderate the effect the artist was driving at. You look at it and think he was just drunk at the time. But, you want to fit in- right? Okay, here we go.

“I believe, and I mean this unequivocally and sincerely, that the bold strokes are representative of his anger, nay, passion and wrath, that society, in it’s nugatory, materialistic and mundane ways, fails to perceive indisputable, undeniable truth. The muted colors are his recognition that society, ever changing, may, one day, see the authenticity, validity and substance of his statement”.

That’s my favorite.