Due to technological advances, the US military establishment had been reduced to four people. Four-star General Henry Wicham was the Air Force and the highest ranking serviceman. Captain Hilary Rodman was the Navy. She commanded the self-run ship the USS Deathdemon. Lance Corporal Sidney Allhouse was the Marines. He stood outside the Oval office. Sgt. Billy Anders was the Army.

When military action was deemed necessary, or desirable, or the President was bored, these four did it all with the help of artificial intelligence computers, Einstein missiles, ESP laser guidance markers and luck.

The Secretary of Defense was an honorary job since the Secretary had nothing to do except read magazines and do crossword puzzles. The computers were a big help here. The orders came directly to Gen. Wicham from the President. As it did this morning.

"Wicham, this is the Man. I want the rebel movement in Stanistan wiped out", the President told him.

"Stanistan? Where's that, sir?"

"Don't know; don't care. Those ignorant savages are using red, white and blue toilet paper. Can't have this; no sir, can't. First it's toilet paper, next thing you know they'll be marching down Pennsylvania Avenue. Take 'em out".

He asked the computers to find Stanistan for him. One said it was next to Russastan and the other argued for the Black Sea. The General told them to figure it out without violence while he tried to find Sgt. Anders, who could be anywhere. Billy would be the one to go into Stanistan, if it existed.

As he left his office he ran into Captain Rodman.

"Capt. Rodman, I thought you were on a cruise in the Med."

"I am, sir. Well, I'm not but my ship is. I came back for some relief and I'll rejoin the ship in the Med unless it decides to go somewhere else."

"Very well, sailor, carry on".

The General found Sgt. Anders was in a bar overseas.. The Sgt. was very busy negotiating a price with a young lady of the night. He didn't want to go to Stanistan. He wanted to go to his room.

"Sgt., you have your orders. As soon as we find out where Stanistan is you are to go there and target the rebels for our Big Boom missiles from the Navy".

"Oh, God, not the Big Boomers. I always get a headache from them. Why not the Fingers of Death? At least they're quiet".

"We used them last time. It's the Big Boomers turn".

The General left his office to find the computers strewn all over the place. Some were squealing, some were obviously burned out and some were chasing each other. The General had to threaten them with a courtmartial to get them to settle down and find Stanistan for him. The computers finally came through for the General. They decided that Stanistan wasn't a country at all. It was a tv show called "Stan N' Stan". It was about a couple of buddies with the same first name and the confusion it caused. The General looked it up in his TV Guide. There it was. He called the President.

"Sir, Stanistan is the setting for a sitcom. It doesn't really exist as a country".

The President listened and then thought a while. Then he made a decision.

"Yes, sir, I understand. We'll take it out. Yes, sir, it is a lousy show".