It's Holloween!! Trick or treat!! Costumes!! Candy!! More candy!!.

Holloween's not the same as it once was. Nowadays, you might get a trick along with the candy. So, you switch bags on the kids. You carefully pry open all the candy and fruit to look for razor blades and broken glass. If you don't find any you almost feel disappointed. You also figure it's safe to eat. Safe for you, not the kids.

You still have this nagging hesitation though. There's always poison. How to know? You could just throw it away but you really don't want to. You really don't. Let Rover the Wonder Dog try it. There is nothing he won't eat and there is nothing that can hurt him. If he doesn't spit it back out you're home free.

He gets a sample of everything and wolfs it down. Hmm. He seems to be okay. He's sitting there wagging his tail for more. Then, he drops over. Oh my! What have you done? Relax. You haven't done anything. He's just playing dead as a trick.

He goes to the door so you let him out so he can bark at the late trick or treaters. He enjoys that. Meanwhile, you chow down on the chocolate and the fruit and even eat one of those stupid popcorn balls. You notice that Rover isn't barking. He isn't scratching the door to get back in. You go out to check on him and he's doing his business all over the yard. Lots of business. No glass, no razors, no poison. But-

Then you feel the cramps coming on. It even smalls like chocolate.