Decided to buy a new watch. Usually I go for the Timex. It’s dependable and lasts forever. Had a insane moment and looked some of the newer ones.

“Yes, sir, this is a great one. It has GPS built in. Press this button and you’ll know precisely where you are”, the salesman told me.

“Uh, I know precisely where I am”.

“Yes, but , in an emergency, the 911 people will be able to locate you. Also, this button will download and reconcile your bank statement for you”.

“I already have a system for that”.

“This will do it when you’re away from home. Also, you can call people from this.”

“I have a cell phone”.

“Won’t need it. Press this button and you can play one of 500 songs. This one allows you too watch a movie. This one-”.

“How do you tell time on it?”.

“Huh? That’s a special program. I can get that put in for $39.95 extra”.

I bought a Timex.