The genetic, bio-tech crackheads are up to a bunch of new tricks. Doctor Marvin, of Marvin’s Bio-tech Genetic Engineering, claims to have created a mosquito that is so tough that it has a tattoo on it that reads, “Don’t even think of swatting me”.

Japanese geneticists have made a rat that can take a direct hit to the head by a claw hammer. In the US South this didn’t cause much of a ripple. The typical approach to rat extermination there involves the use of a shotgun. In the major Northern cities the rats are so scary that no one would think of whacking one with a hammer.

Hun Sung, Director of the People’s Democratic Socialist Futuristic development Institute, announced the creation of a Koala bear that could reproduce in zoos. The zoos would no longer have to replace their Koala’s with Chinese imports. Hun Sing was executed for crimes against the people.

In England the world famous scientific group English Muffins engineered a food enhancement. A study group of English men and women tested the enhancements and were rushed to area hospitals vomiting and shitting at the same time.

The American test group announced that, “It wasn’t a big deal. We’ve been using salt and pepper all our lives”.

The French testing group said that the enhancements were good but that English food was still, “le crappe”.