The guy pulled into the handicapped parking spot at the supermarket. He didn’t have a handicap plate, sticker or card. He definitely would have qualified with what he did. When he pulled in, he pulled in fast to beat some old crippled woman. He pulled in and kept on pulling in.

The girl at the deli counter was alerted by the sound of crashing glass, crumpling metal and whatever the noise is that plastic makes when it changes shape. She looked at the guy parked beside her counter and told him, “We don’t have drive-through service”.

For some reason the guy was mad at her. Maybe he didn’t want to admit he drove his car across a sidewalk and through a door. The guy seemed to want to change the subject.

The manager called the police and asked the guy what happened.

“Dunno. I was parking my car and next thing I knew I was here getting smart-mouthed by an employee”.

“Uh, sir, you did crash through my doors. You have done a lot of damage. The police are on the way. I hope you have insurance”, the manager told him.

“The cops?! Guess I’d better come up with a good story like I passed out at the wheel just as I pulled in”, the guy said out loud.

“Umm, sir, people normally slow down as the pull into a parking spot. You must have been going pretty fast”, the manager told him.

“No! I can’t take another speeding ticket. One more and they take my license. No, I passed out”.

The cop that got there wrote that story down. He commented that it wasn’t going to fly.

“Why not? You didn’t see what happened”, the guy told the cop.

“No, sir, I didn’t. Sir, you had to turn to the right to hit the door. You had to be conscious to do that. No, sir, you’re story isn’t going to work. I’m going to take you to the hospital”.

“Nah, that’s okay, I ain’t hurt”.

“No, sir, I want a, umm, mental evaluation. If you’re not crazy then this is the dumbest burglary I’ve come across.”