My car runs like a trooper. It’s old and has a lot of miles on it but it gets me back and forth to work. I smoke and it stinks the car up. I also toss garbage over my shoulder. When I can’t see out the back I pop the hatch and rake it out. So far, I haven’t found anything dead if you don’t count that rat. I don’t because I think he got in the car to die. Thought it was the dumpster that rats go home to to die.

When someone at work wants a ride I warn them that I won’t be responsible for any illness they come down with. They already know about my car. No one wants to park next to it. Must be afraid that garbage can migrate.

Calling my car a junker is insulting. My car is full of junk but the car itself is great. I’d be willing to drive that thing from the East Coast, where I live, to the West Coast. No sweat. I’ve been offered money to do just that. The deal was, the car had to stay there.

My wife thinks I ought to be embarrassed by it. I’m not embarrassed by much as it is and certainly not by the car. I figure, if it bothers you, don’t look at it. My wife also doesn’t like me parking next to our van. No choice there. I did throw a blanket over the back once to hide it. Then, the junk went on top of the blanket. No gain there. In fact, it was a loss of a blanket.

The car gets me clear space on the road. Everyone who sees me thinks I must be suicidal and they steer clear. They think. here’s a guy who really doesn’t give a damn. So, what’s my gain in keeping it cleaned up?