Living by a graveyard isn’t all bad. You know your property values can’t get any lower. This adds a little stability to your life.

On the other hand, it does remind you how you’re going to end up. No way out except by dying. Yes, you can opt to be cremated and have your ashes spread, say, over your mother-in law’s grave. Beats pissing on it. You’re still going to be dead.

On burial days, traffic can be a bitch. Try cutting in line and you may well be next. Grieving people can be vicious on line cutters. They always yell out, “There’s always room for one more, idiot!”.

Call the police because you hear strange noises and they yell at you for trying a crummy prank. What they won’t do is come out to check. They aren’t going near a graveyard.

The best thing is that these neighbors don’t bother you much. They’re real quiet.