General George Patton once said, “I would rather have a division of German troops in front of me than a division of French troops behind me.”

Come on, George, lighten up. It took the German ten whole days to beat the million man French Army. You didn’t see DeGaulle surrendering, did you? Nope. He went to London to piss off Churchill and screw Eisenhower around. General Marshall used to make Ike come to Washington so that he could, “avoid that twink”. Why did Churchill let him in? What did we do to Churchill?”

When we landed our troops in North Africa, Ike was worried that we might have to fight Frenchmen. Ike could have his stupid moments. How would that look? Who knows? No one has ever had to fight the French. All anyone has had to do is say they will and the white flag goes up.

“Sir, shouldn’t we shoot at the enemy?”

“Why piss him off?”, the French general would reply.

This doesn’t count the French Foreign Legion. No, those are some tough boys. They’re called the Foreign Legion because most of them are foreigners. In fact, Frenchies aren’t allowed in.

“No, we don’t allow Frenchmen in the French Foreign Legion”, the recruiter would tell a prospect.

Having the French in a war is the best way to make it a quick war.

“Sir, the enemy is approaching. Sir, sir? Where did he go?”