Sometimes I take a real story and add to it to make it funnier or more bizarre or stranger or whatever. Sometimes real life makes that hard. This is a real life story. There’s nothing I can add to it.

A woman went into Wal-Mart and loaded two-thousand dollars worth of merchandise into her cart. She then went through the checkout. The cashier was excited. Two grand isn’t the typical Wal-Mart shopper. After ringing it all up she told the woman the total. The woman rummaged through her purse and pulled out two gift cards and told the cashier,

“Here. This ought to cover it”.

The cashier scanned the two cards and politely told the woman that the cash value of the cards was $2.32. That wasn’t close to covering it. The woman rummaged through her purse again.

“Here. I know this will more than cover it”, she said as she handed the cashier a million dollar bill.....a million dollar bill. The cashier called for the manager. She showed him the purchase total and handed him the million dollar bill. The manager looked at the woman and asked to see her id.

“I never heard of needing id for using cash”, the woman told him as she gave him her driver’s license.

After writing it all down, the manager told the woman that there’s no such thing as a million dollar bill and that the U.S. Treasury Department would probably be talking to her.

This is news. I listen to a golden oldies station and you know what they’re like. They were having a good time with this story when the woman called the station. Of course, she was put on the air immediately.

The DJ asked her, “Lady, why would you do something like this?”

“Well, first off, I’m calling from my cell phone. That way this number can’t be traced. I-”

The DJ interrupted her to tell her, “Traced? Lady, you gave your driver’s license to the store manager. They know where to find you. Why would you think you could get away with a million dollar bill?”

“Well, you can’t keep up with the Treasury Department these days”.

“Well, when they arrest you and put a million dollar bail on you, I hope you aren’t stupid enough to whip out another million dollar bill to pay the bail”

The woman hung up on him. Got offended, I guess.

Like I wrote, it’s getting harder to write humor with these kind of people running around. If you’d like to send me money to help keep this list and the site going, go ahead. Just don’t send me a million dollar bill.