Came home today to find Jake the Wonder Wit sleeping on the couch. Normally he’s all over me, jumping up and down and pissing on my shoes. Today was nail clipping day. Nail clipping must be to him what kryptonite is to Superman. Nail clips wear him out. Actually, most things wear him out.

He’s a lazy dog to begin with. He’s the laziest damn dog I’ve ever seen. He rarely moves unless there’s food involved. I sometimes have to check to see if he’s alive. Yet, I can be in the kitchen while he’s upstairs in the bedroom sleeping. All I to do is crinkle the cookie package and he’s right there.

Another thing that wears him out is the beach. We take him with us sometimes. He loves it. He gets lots of attention and thinks he’s a real charmer. He just prances around like some fairy boy. Oh, sure, occasionally he runs into a crab and runs away. There’s a certain amount of cowardice to him too. That’s my fault for getting him neutered. I know he’d attack anyone who touched Mommy but otherwise he pretty much stays clear of other critters, especially bitches in heat.