There are two reasons to live in the South. The first one is that you were born here and think of the rest of America as a foreign nation and you'll be danged if you live around a bunch of foreigners, There's also the gut suspicion that everyone would be laughing at you. Let me relieve any Southerner on that point. It's not a suspicion. That is laughter you're hearing.

The other reason is to decide to move here for some reason. The reason could be the nice weather; it could be the friendly folks. Could be but isn't. The only real reason is to increase your I.Q. That's it. You automatically gain twenty to thirty points just by moving here.

Are all Southerners dumb. No, that's absurd. I've personally met two smart ones myself. No, one. I think. No, no, that's ugly. These folks aren't dumb. They just talk slow so it seems like they're dumb. Of course, maybe they talk the way they think.

Ground up, boiled corn is the standard fare here. Poor people food whether you're poor or not. Chicken necks. Pig's feet. Down here when the little piggy goes to market all of him goes. Why waste time shucking peanuts, salting them and then eating them. Just throw a passel of them in a tub of boiling, hot water. Why? How do I know why? Just is.

Now that C&W is out and disco has arrived I got out all my old disco clothes. Darn things didn't fit. I sold them for a nice little profit, though.

My own personal reason for moving here was laziness. I wanted to quit working but was too young to retire. Down here there is no difference between working and not working. That's my style; my way of living. Plus, I'm a whole lot smarter than I used to be. A whole lot.