Every region has it’s quirks and oddities. The South has it’s own share of them. Be a fly on the wall and listen to this conversation.

“It were ‘bout state rights, not slavery”, Willie said.

“Yes, the state right to have slavery”, Kwazo replied.

“Wahl, yea, yahl gonna put it thet a way”, Willie said.

The NAACP is boycotting South Carolina until the Confederate flag comes down... everywhere. Couple of problems with that. One, the Confederate flag isn’t coming down. Ever. Two, the boycott seems to be an concealed or secret thing. Nothing has changed except for the NCAA playoffs and a few conventions. Three, and this is a biggie, the only ones to lose their jobs by it are blacks. Must be the principal of the thing.

Then there’s this one:

Guy stalls out in the middle of the bridge. He tells the cop, “Don’ unnerstan’ et. She were a goin’ fine till she up an’ quit ahn me”.

“Yes, sir. Sir, you might want to step out of that lane before someone- dispatch, send the EMT”.

Dogs are important in the South.

At the police station , Carl is telling the cops that his dog has disappeared.

“He was there one minute and not there the next. Funniest darn thing”.

“He was where one minute and not the next?”, the desk Sgt. asks.

“Well, in the back of the truck of course. I glanced back to check on him and he was fine. I turned around and some booby broad slammed on her brakes. Naturally, I slammed mine on. I looked back and the dog was gone.

The South can relay bug you.

Squirrels and Palmetto bugs fight constantly. It’s not a turf fight. The squirrel is fighting for his life. A Palmetto bug can eat a squirrel, a cat, and a small dog at one sitting. They can peek into your window to see if you’re up yet. They can pick the lock on your door. Rover may not have ran away.

Then there’s the lay of the land.

Yes. it’s true that South Carolina is 3 miles of beach and 300 miles of swamp. They like it that way. It keeps the outsiders out. The rest of the country likes it that way too. It keeps the scum in.

Something will get you.

Live in the South and you learn very quickly that it’s the heat and the humidity. If one doesn’t give you a stroke, the other will. Can’t hang the sheets outside for that fresh smell. They won’t ever dry. They just hang there mildewing away.