Being smart isn’t always the smart thing. Even letting on that you’re smart might not be the smart thing either. When you drink at the Blue Jug using two-syllable words can, and will, get you into trouble as a smartmouth jerk. Yes, jerk. Only one syllable in jerk. Only one syllable in punch, kick and gouge too. Fortunately, there’s only one syllable in help.

“Whatcha mean by that?’, a dimwit asks.

“I mean, your arguement has little, if any, legitimacy”, you reply.

“Hey, you trashin’ my mama?”

Punch, kick, gouge.

Being smarter than your boss is fine as long as he, or she, never finds out. Then you’re out. Don’t whine about it and don’t say it just proves how dumb he, or she, is. That’s what got you canned in the first place. Come to think of it, how smart is that?

“Boy, what a dummy that former boss of mine is. He couldn’t think his way out of an arguement with a mime”.

“Uh, yea, but he’s working and you’re not”, someone tells you.

Being smarter than your mate is okay if you do enough dumb things. really dumb things. The ratio should be 2 to 1 on the dumb things. One, it makes your mate feel better. Two, your mate gets a lot of chances to say, “Boy, smart as you are that was dumb”. No, that was smart.

In high school being known as smart was bad. Bad as in, “the girls don’t like me.” That what’s important. Being bright is good but being smart is bad. You have to be able to get straight A’s without being known for your smarts. If you can’t, you won’t get the girls and how smart is that? Heck, flub a test once in a while.

Never get smart with a cop. They don’t appreciate it. They wear a gun. ‘Nuff said?