The Shrimp Navy builds it’s boats up in the hills and then tows them to the Mississippi River or to the ocean. These guys use their own designs and ideas. They have their own way of doing things. They get to the water. Then the crew revs up the engines and sets out to catch shrimp. Then the boat sinks.

     Not always, of course. Any boat can sink. There is no such thing as an unsinkable boat. The odds are in your favor unless you’re a Shrimp Navy sailor. You might as well hang yourself and save the traveling. These boats aren’t seaworthy by any definition. The Coast Guard hates these guys on principle.

     The Coasties come on the scene. There they are floating around. After hauling them on board they ask the sailors what happened.

     “It were a terrible storm, Admiral. Jus’ terrible”, the skipper tells the Coast Guard commander.

     “What storm was that? There was no storm. I’m not an Admiral, I’m a Lt. Just like you aren’t a sailor. You’re a fool.”

     “Now, I ask you, is that any way to talk to a taxpayer? I pay your salary, sonny.”

     “Taxpayer. I lose more money than you ever paid in taxes, bubba. Well, you have no ship and I’m taking you into the port. After that you’re on your own.”

     Why do they do it? Why would they risk their lives on a ship that barely floats to go out on an ocean that is going to try to kill them? Money. That’s why most things get done, isn’t it? A successful voyage can earn these guys more in one season than they’d make in five years working at the furniture factory. Granted, furniture doesn’t try to kill you but you have to weigh the risks. Then they go to sea anyway.

     “Oh, Harley”, she cries, “don’t go. If you drownded I’d never forgive ya.”

     “Yea? Well, I reckons iffen I drowns I won’t care a lot.”

     “Well, at least buy a bit of insurance, ya know, in case the baddest happens to ya.”

     “Insurance? Who’s goin’ ta sell insurance to me. You can be a senseless twit at times.”

     There they are out on the ocean. Still afloat and catching tons of shrimp. They keep an eye on the horizon for storms. What difference that makes they don’t know. They won’t leave until they can’t find anyplace to stick one of the critters. They also wouldn’t recognize a an approaching storm until two minutes before the boat sinks.

     Beer. They always take along a lot of beer. It helps them get over their fear of drowning. Sometimes even while they are drowning. One of the ways the Coast Guard finds them is to follow the trail of beer cans. It’s sort of like Hansel and Gretel.

     Cuba. The Cubans hate the shrimpers worse than the US Coast Guard. The Cubans will spot one of them, look around for a Coast Guard cutter, and then blow the ship out of the water. The shrimpers tell the coasties about it.

     “It were a Cuban boat, Commodore. It done snuck up on us and commenced to firin’ for no reason, no how. Them guys needs a butt kicking iffen ya ask me.”

     “Cubans. Cuba sank your boat? Fidel is so worried about your fishing that he risks war with the United States to sink a two dollar boat? That what you expect me to believe?”

     “Well, it be the truth. I reckons he ain’t riskin’ no war from the way you be talkin’. You afraid of a bunch of guys what can’t even speak English?”, the shrimper captain replies.

     “Oh, so that’s it. First off, they speak English at least as well as you do. Secondly, I’m not angry at them for sinking you, if they did. I’d like to do that as soon as I see one of you myself.”

     OK. They make it. No mysterious sinking. No being sunk by Cuban gunfire. They sell the catch. They sell the boat for firewood. They divvy up the money. They start out for home with a lot of cash to buy things their family needs and wants. Things like real food and clothes. Maybe buy that trailer instead of renting. Maybe get a new gun. Then again, maybe not.

     There are bars to drink in. There are crap games to shoot in.

     “Harley! I’s so glad to see ya. I was worried something fierce about ya. I reckons I was wrong an’ you’s was right. I reckons the nex’ time ya go I kin be a little more in favor. I guess ya knows how to take care of your own self good enough. How much does we have now?”

     “Well, uh, ya see, it be like this. There weren’t a lot left after the expenses an’ all. I got a little bit. I gots enough to pay the rent on this here trailer. I like this place.”