Sir Edmund Hallary stood at the peak of Mt. Everest. He’d made it, he and his faithful Sherpa guide, Der Shupupupu. He felt a little light-headed. Probably from the altitude. He felt a little dizzy as well. He was breathing hard, probably from the exertion of a very hard climb. He was red in the face and felt like he could just lie down and take a nap. This didn’t seem right but he wasn’t thinking too clearly either.

Der Shupupupu walked over to Sir Edmund and calmly opened the valve on the oxygen bottle. Sir Edmund felt better immediately. The Sherpa said something in his native language that Sir Edmund, a Sherpa expert, didn’t understand. Der Shupupupu was using all the Sherpa words for stupid. He also threw a couple of idiots and fools in for a change of pace. This was the dumbest man Der Shupupupu had brought up here.

Half way up he noticed that Sir Edmund wasn’t moving up the mountain. He was dangling and flailing his arms. Der Shupupupu went back down to see that Sir Edmund had somehow gotten tangled in the ropes. One of them was around his neck, slowly strangling him. Der Shupupupu considered , for a moment, letting Sir Edmund struggle for a moment longer. After that, he wouldn’t struggle at all. He’d be all through struggling, he’d be dead. He’d have to be taken down from the mountain, of course. The Sherpas had strict environmental laws about leaving corpse’s on the mountain. It scared the goats.

Der Shupupupu would have to carry Sir Edmund back down. Dead weight is always harder to carry. Most of the Sherpas, in this situation, just cut the rope and let the white guy fall where he may. The Sherpas didn’t have to clean up the mess and they always got their money upfront. Der Shupupupu managed to get Sir Edmund untangled before he died. Der Shupupupu had been promised a nice bonus if they made it to the top. Maybe this guy wasn’t so stupid.

“Well, Dor Shipuaupupu, it was a struggle but we made it to the top of Mt. Everest. Not many men can say that.”

“Der Shupupupu. My name is Der Shupupupu, Sir Edmund, Der Shupupupu. Lot of men come here before. Stupid men.” Der Shupupupu said that last part in Sherpa in a way that Sir Edmund thought was praise.

“Yes, we have accomplished our goal. I guess the going down will be quicker and easier, what with what we’ve learned on the way up”, Sir Edmund commented.

Der Shupupupu thought that if Sir Edmund would give him his bonus now the going down would be a whole lot easier and faster- for Sir Edmund. Sir Edmund would get to experience the thrill of a free fall. The landing would be rough but Sir Edmund wouldn’t know that. Then Der Shupupupu could just go home and get drunk.

“Dir Shepapapumowmow, I want to plant my flag here so that future climbers will know that I, Sir Edmund Hallstone IV, accomplished what few men have ever accomplished. I will make my mark in history, even as a footnote.”

Sir Edmund unfurled his flag. He didn’t account for the wind at this altitude. Off he went. The last Der Shupupupu saw of him he was flying towards China. They’d shoot him down.

Der Shupupupu really felt bad. He’d not collected his bonus and now he wouldn’t. Sir Edmund would make his mark in history, though.