While not all men think alike, as not all women think alike, there is a generality that holds. One of them is that men don’t take women too seriously. Any man that does is a whipped dog and not a man anyway. They do this even though it causes men more problems than anything else in life. Men think women are running on emotions and very little logic.

Soap operas are the proof normally used. Women get personally involved with fictional characters living a life that is impossible to live . It’s junk written by junk writers. Let a woman miss one day’s episode and they panic and call around to get an update. Since the plot of soaps move as fast as a cadaver this makes no sense to a man. The soap operas don’t either, so there you go.

“So, Jennifer says to Armin, ‘Doctor Williams says that we’re brother and sister. I got mixed at birth. We can’t get married now’. No, not that Armin. The other one. The straight one Anyways, Jennifer says to Armin, ‘What about the baby?’. Armin tells her, ‘Maybe that’s why he’s a monster’. Jennifer says, ‘He’s just in that terrible two stage, that’s all’. Armin then says that Father O’Malley is coming over to do an exorcism.”

The man hears this and smiles to himself. He’s watching Stallone strangle three guys, and the English language, while head-butting another guy. Kicking still another while getting shot 26 times. That’s exceptional but, who knows?, could happen.

To men, the logic behind what women think, do, feel and want doesn’t make sense most of the time. Men never explore this thought or the certainty that men are always logical unless they get angry. They deny it to a woman but they’re lying. Most men don’t consider lying to a woman as lying. It’s considered either good form or self defense.

“I didn’t stop for a drink”, he tells her.

“Then you better get a new mouthwash”, she tells him.

Men know that women will cry for the smallest excuse. They cry if they break a nail. They cry if they find a gray hair or an extra pound on the scale. (This means a pound extra on the body but men don’t care and don’t see why women do). Women cry because their friend cries. They cry before they find out why the friend is crying. It doesn’t matter if it turns out to be something trifling. It’s some sort of standard that women have. “Cry and I’ll cry with you”. To men, it’s, “Cry and you’re a pantywaist sissy”.

Women want to discuss feelings and relationships. They want to connect. Men don’t and tell women they don’t. Women then want to discuss why the guy doesn’t want to talk about his feelings. Women also want to talk about what is it that men like about football, a humdrum, pointless game where nothing happens most of the time and men pat each other’s butts. Men don’t comment on that but do if they see it any place else.

“Hey! It’s just a football thing, okay!?”

“You ever pat a man’s butt?”, she asked.

“Not off the field I didn’t. Not once. Least, not sober.”.