Back in the 1950’s, with Africa still colonialized, safari’s were a big business. One of those business’ was The Lower Southeastern African Safari Company, Ltd. It was solely owned by Samuel Hyde-Green. Samuel had inherited the company at age 22 due to the early, untimely, surprising death of his father. The senior Hyde-Green was tracking a lion at the same time the lion was tracking him. The elder Hyde-Green thought the lion was in front of him. He was dumbfounded when the lion attacked from the rear. The surprise only lasted a moment or two. Mrs. Hyde-Green liked to tell people that, “at least he didn’t suffer”.

“Mother, Father was eaten by a lion”, Samuel said to her.

Samuel had never been to Africa. He was going to forget the Company until he saw the books. The old man made a mint of this! Samuel went to Africa to check things out. He had no intention of leading a safari even if he could. The place was hot, smelly, and backward. He wasn’t going to give up a gold mine either. He hired Bob Hester to be his man in Africa.

Hester was well-known as “Bwana Bob”. He was known in the bush and in every bar in every colonial capital. He had owned, and lost, several safari companies. He was eager to take this job. The deal was made. Samuel would make the contracts and greet the parties in whatever capital they wanted. He’d regal them with adventure stories and then leave. Bwana Bob would do the safari.

In London, Samuel Hyde-Green soon came to be known as The Great White Hunter. He wore safari cloths as much as possible. He told wild safari adventure stories. In the colonial administrative offices he was known as either “Safari Sam” or “Safari Sam, Har, Har, Har”.

Samuel decided to take one party out himself. Just this one time to see what it was really like. Bwana Bob told him it was a bad idea. Why anyone would do it was beyond Bob. He only did it because he didn’t know how to do anything else that was legal. Legal was half of Bwana Bob’s income.

Jimmy was the head native tracker. The other natives respected Jimmy. They did that after he ate a live snake and didn’t die. He had ju-ju. Jimmy was in charge of the bearers and trackers and got half the kickbacks from the suppliers. In later years he would help lead his country to independence. He would be elected President-For-Life. His term lasted 21 days until his brother got home and shot him.

The third day out Bwana Bob told Safari Sam there were elephants in the area. Samuel hadn’t seen any or heard any so he questioned Bob about this.

“Are you positive about that, old man?”, Sam asked.

Bwana Bob told him, “Look at what your standing in. If it isn’t elephants then the dinosaurs are back”.

“My God, man, why didn’t you warn me?”, Samuel yelled.

“Figured you’d notice”, Bob casually told him.

Back at the camp, Safari Sam told Jimmy, “You. Tell white man and white man woman, many elephant. Many. We hunt. You tell”.

Jimmy replied, “Umgahwa”.

“Bob, what does ‘umgahwa’ mean. He says that everytime I say anything to him”, Sam asked.

“The same thing as ‘Kemo Sabe’, I think”.

“Kemo Sabe? What’s that mean?”.

“Don’t know. I’m not Tonto. Probably some American Wild West Indian slang for ‘Umgahwa’. That’d be my guess”.

“Well, be that as it may. I don’t want an elephant sneaking up on me the way that lion sneaked up on Father. You keep out a good eye”.

Yea, Bwana Bob thought. Have to look real hard to see an elephant.

The next morning Samuel, the Townsends, the gunbearers and Jimmy set off to hunt elephants. Bwana Bob stayed behind. Safari Sam wanted all the credit. Bwana Bob wanted to drink beer even if it was warm. He drank it all morning. He’d drink one while sweating the last one out. Bwana Bob couldn’t get ahead of the sweat.

It was late afternoon when the party returned, minus Safari Sam. The Townsends looked shattered. The gunbearers looked for beer. Jimmy walked over to Bob to tell him what happened. He was carrying Sam’s hat, one shoe and his rifle.

“We found the elephants. Sam got all excited. He made a big deal out of it as if an elephant was hard to track. He told the Townsends that he’d go ahead and set up the best spot for the shoot. I told him I’d go with him but he said he’d go alone. I told him that wasn’t prudent. He told me to remember that he was a white man, the Great White Hunter, and I was just a native”, Jimmy told Bob.

“So? Where is he? We can’t just leave him out there! We hav-”

“Bob, Safari Sam isn’t going to be found. He apparently was sneaking up on an elephant at the same time a pride of lions was. Probably some lame, old cow. From the looks of things, Sam and the lions got to a spot at the same time. I heard one shot. When I got there, I found his hat, one shoe and his rifle. I guess it’s like father, like son”, Jimmy told Bwana Bob.

“Dibs on the rifle then”.