The red, red robin goes bob, bob, bobbin’ along. That’s the way the song goes. Old stuff but still cute to sing to your kids. The truth is somewhat different, as it usually is. Fiction is called fiction for a reason. Calling it a lie sounds too harsh.

If a red, red robin were to go bob, bob, bobbin’ along some cat would eat it. No question of that. Cats love bobbin’ for robins. Face it, that’s what cats do. That and scratch your new couch. You can scratch the bobbin’ robin nonsense.

Then there’s bluejays. They look very nice and colorful. Maybe just a shade less pretty than the robin. You won’t see a bluejay bobbin’ along. Bluejays know cats. Bluejays also know robins. They know they’re weak and stupid. Bobbin’ along. A bluejay will eat a robin just for the sport of it. Robins are an embarrassment to the bird world.

The squirrels sit on a branch or a fence or a live wire, hoping they don’t touch the wrong way, and watch the dumb robin bobbin’ along and the cat sneaking up on it. The squirrel, who has no fear of cats, considers attacking the cat. Decides not to until after the cat eats the robin. The cat will take a snooze and the squirrels can rip butt. Squirrels won’t eat a robin. They taste crummy.

The little girl is sitting on the porch watching the red, red robin bob, bob, bobbin’ along. It’s so cute. She spies the cat sneaking up on it and is torn between not wanting to see the robin hurt and letting her cat have it’s way. She starts to cry. The robin doesn’t notice it, the squirrels don’t see it and the cat really doesn’t care.

Fred, her older brother, is looking out the window at the robin, the cat, the squirrels and the bluejays. He’s wondering if he can nail all of them with his air rifle. He thinks about nailing his sister too but then she’d cry even more. Dad told him one more shot and he’s finished.

Mommy comes out to see what the little brat is bawling about this time. She shoos the cat away, scares the robin off, gets the bluejay to fly to a higher branch and the squirrels put on their “I wasn’t doing anything” look.

Without so much as a glance upwards she yells for Fred not to dare shoot his air rifle. One shot and she’s going to give him a shot that will be heard around the world.

Remember this the next time you sing, “When the red, red, robin goes bob, bob, bobbin’ along”.