Tom West was standing in front of the Pearly Gates waiting his turn to see St. Peter. He felt comfortable enough with his chance of getting in. He was a fairly good person and a believer.

“Okay, Tom, may I call you Tom?”, St. Peter asked.

“Sure, Pete”, Tom responded, getting a dirty look from St. Peter.

“I’ve looked over your record and it looks pretty good. Boy Scout, active in community projects, great family man. I see just this one small problem.”

“Uh, what problem?”

“This remark you made once about how God spelled backwards is dog.”

“Oh, that. It was only a joke.”

“Uh, huh. Problem is, God doesn’t have any sense of humor. This is the kind of thing that really pisses Him off.”

“A joke?”

“Yea, a joke. He gets the joke, understand. He just doesn’t like them.”

“Well, maybe I should speak to Jesus. He seems like an even-handed person.”

“Spirit, Tom, spirit. He was a person but not after he got nailed.”

“Okay, still I-”

“The Old Man sent Jesus to earth on a mission. He was to give a message to the Chosen People to shape up. Like most kids, Jesus went a little farther than he was supposed too.”

“And God didn’t like that?”, Tom asked.

“Well, take this turn the other cheek stuff. Read the Old Testament and show me any turn the other cheek business there. God doesn’t turn the other cheek. Whack him, like Satan did, and he whacks back, hard.”

“So, what can I do?”

“Keep a low profile in there. Maybe God won’t notice you. And- no more jokes.”