Some guy in San Francisco has sued Oreo Cookies for putting trans-muted fat into the cookies. That’s not the worst part. According to the lawsuit, “they snuck it in on us”.

As an Oreo fan of longstanding I’m upset. So are all my Oreo-loving friends.

“Man, who’d a thought they do this. They could have at least a told us”, one of my Oreo-loving friends said.

“Yea, they could have. What’s a trans-muted fat?”, I asked.

“Mnpthh srt, drtwer”, my friend replied.

“Swallow that cookie! I didn’t get that at all!”

“Okay. I don’t know but it must be bad if they snuck it in on us. Look at the term. I know what fat is. Jeez, look at my wife. Talk about your fat. Man, she’s really been gobblin’ the Oreos. The muted part I’m not too sure about. Muted is like turning off the sound to the tv, you know. Trans sorta means across. Near as I can tell we’re talking about a moving, silent fat. That sounds bad, ya know?”

The CEO of Oreo told the PR people to get on this. They first had to find out what trans-muted fat was. They went to the production manager to find out.

“How would I know? We mix a bunch of stuff up and bake it. The guy who came up with it is dead. I don’t know that we do put trans-muted fat in our cookies. Heck, stonewall it”.

No, the CEO wanted to go the Excedrin route. Tell the truth and then take some of them.

“We use this flavor-enhancing, harmless fat to make our cookies taste like Oreo’s. Otherwise, you’d have Hydrox. Yuck!”, the PR people announced.

The Hydrox people didn’t like this one little bit. They were going to join in the lawsuit until their production manager told them that they used trans-muted fat too.

The CEO of Hydrox, no dummy he, then asked,

“Then why are Oreos so good and Hydrox taste like crap?”