The real trouble with nutcases is that a nutcase doesn't know he’s a nutcase. Everyone around him knows it but he doesn't. After all, if he was sane enough to know he was a nutcase, he wouldn't be one. Then where would he be? Working a real job, relating to real people and living in the real world, for what that’s worth. How much it’s worth is a matter of opinion. Nutcases seem to be happier than sane people. Maybe the definitions are backwards.

Petey was reasonably normal, or so it seemed, until he turned 16. Literally. On his 16th birthday, Petey became a nutcase. He picked his birthday cake up and walked over to the biggest guy at his party, Dwayne. Then, he smashed it in the Dwayne’s face and started laughing. Started to, but he never finished. Dwayne whacked the piss out of him before Petey‘s mom could stop him. Dwayne said that Petey was either a, "dumbass out to get his butt kicked or a nutcase". Petey. seeing the way, opted to be a nutcase. Being a dumbass would just get his ass kicked some more. Being a nut case was his only protection. It was also the only incident of insanity Petey ever showed. Once was enough though. After that he was, "Petey, the ‘Nutcase’ ".

Life got a lot easier for him. No one expected much from a nutcase and Petey never disappointed anyone.

The tattooed, shaved-head guy was about to bust Petey for something when the big guy, Dwayne, gave him a look. The look was, "touch him and die a horrible death". Baldy thought it over and said,

"I can’t let him get away with that, no matter what, man."

"He’s a nutcase, man", Dwayne explained.

"Oh. Guess I can’t whack a nutcase. Ain’t cause I’m scared or nothing."

"Yea, whatever", Dwayne said.

Petey sat there with that stupid smile on his face. What Petey didn’t know was that smile and him being as nutcase was permanent, irreversible. He had the rep now.

Some types of people have a gender specific term; hunk, babe; gay, lesbian; looker, moon howler and so on. Not with nutcases. A nutcase is a nutcase is a nutcase. Susie was a nutcase. She was such a nutcase that squirrels followed her around like rock groupies. Susie had to throw rocks at them to get them to git. All because her time of the month was late once. She was convinced that, since she was late, she was pregnant. Her being a virgin didn’t matter to her. Well, it mattered but had nothing to do with her being pregnant.

"Happened before, mama", she told her mama.

"Better not be happening now", Mama told Susie.

"Oh, mama, it's not like I did anything wrong."

"You better not have. I'll not have my daughter become a , umm, uh, harlot!"

"A what?"

"Just never you mind, young lady."

Fortunately, she wasn’t pregnant, only late. Unfortunately, she told everyone she was pregnant with the second virgin birth. Well, some, mostly all, well, everyone who knew her or met her thought she was a nutcase.

"I wouldn’t believe she was pregnant if she stuck out to here", was how one friend put it.

"I wouldn’t believe it if I witnessed the delivery", was how another friend put it.

"That’s dumb", the first friend replied.

"Susie’s a nutcase", was the response.

"Oh. yea, that’s right."

Old Lady Casio, also known as The Old Dingbat, The Old Goofball, and, of course, That Nutcase, was also a lush. She could booze with the worst oft hem. She drank straight gin and bought it by the quart. She would have been known as the town drunk except that was reserved traditionally for men. Drunken women seemed to be able to find their way home no matter how drunk. Might not be their home though. Men have a tendency to get a little lost traveling home. Many times they sleep in their cars or under them.

"Darn it, got grease all over me again", was a common refrain.

Old Lady Casio would take her empty quart bottles and put them in her yard with a plastic flower in them. It probably violated some zoning ordinance but no one ever complained except Old Lady Casio. She was always complaining that the kids were throwing rocks at her bottles and breaking them. Nailing two with one rock was the goal every kid reached for.

"Maybe if the little monsters had to clean up all the broken glass and cut their little arteries they’d leave me be", she would tell the cops.

Whether she was a nutcase from the booze or a boozer from being a nutcase wasn’t known. What was known was- A nutcase is a nutcase is a nutcase.