Matt woke up at midnight having to pee. He hated that. Too much coffee too late in the evening. He’d wake up with his bladder full. He needed to go but didn’t want to move. If he went then the dog would have to go out. Nina didn’t have to do anything. She just had to go out. Okay, he was up anyway. Nina would sniff around the yard until Matt got tired of waiting and called her in.

“Nina! Get in here now!”

“Nina! Now!”

“Nina. Good doggie. Come to daddy. Please.”

An hour later Nina would be licking his face. Now she had to go out and do something. There was no ignoring her unless you wanted a bath. Matt’s wife, Mary, always ignored Nina. She would cover her head and Nina would go after Matt. He’d get up and let her out. While he waited on her he’d realize he was hungry. He’d grab a quick snack. He told his doctor that he ate three meals a day and was careful about what he ate and didn’t understand the weight gain.

At three Nina wanted to sniff the yard some more. Matt tried the cover his head routine. Nina learned to crawl under the blankets and get to Matt’s face. Matt didn’t know why Nina didn’t know how to crawl under Mary’s blanket and get to her face. Up and at ‘em, Matt. Nina would track down whatever animal had been in the yard since the last trip out and Matt would grab a couple of Twinkies. Twinkies aren’t food. They are something that looks like food but isn’t. There are no natural products in a Twinkie. It’s just a chemical formula.

“What about all the Twinkies you eat?”, Mary would ask as Matt’s weight went up.

“Come on. Twinkies? Twinkies aren’t food”.

Nina was out and wouldn’t come in. Matt called her and pleaded with her and begged her. Nothing. He’d see her from time to time ignoring him. It was raining but Matt was tired so he went out to get her. Man, she’s quick. He couldn’t get near her. Nina didn’t eat Twinkies. It was the one thing she refused. Matt’s weight was wearing on him.

“Oh, that’s how you want to play it? Okay, stay out then”, Matt called out. He went up and dried off and climbed back into bed. Five minutes later Mary shook him.

“Matt, there’s a dog howling someplace. I can’t sleep with all that noise. Go yell at it.”

“Mary, a little howling isn’t doing any harm. Cover your head up. Dogs are meant to be outside.”

“Well, I guess your right. Where’s my Nina?’

“She’s sleeping on my legs. She’s fine”.