Moon Shot

An elevator to the moon. What an concept! Any similarities to the Tower of Babel are purely a coincidence. We can be assured of this because the government said so. Don’t be a cynic. The government lying about most things isn’t the same as the government lying about everything. It just feels that way.

“Besides, the Tower of Babel may have been a metaphorical story or a fable or a lie”, was how the Project Moon Shot Director put it just before the lightning struck him, turning him into 200 pounds of barbecue.

The elevator is already built. It’s supposed to be a secret but you can see it when flying. There it is over to your right, the pilot announces. Then he gets taken into custody by the sky marshal for giving away government secrets. Then he gets released since the sky marshal can’t fly the plane and the pilot refuses to. He’s having a snit over being arrested.

“Okay, you fly the plane”, the pilot says.

“Me? I can’t fly it. Tell you what, I’ll put you on probation until we land. How’s that?”, the marshal tries to deal.

“How about you go to-”

“No, no, no cussing. This is a clean site”.

The first test of the Moon Shot, as they call it, was a total failure. Total failure for the guy who rode it. The designers say they learned a lot so it wasn’t a total loss to them. In fact, they didn’t lose anything. The guy who rode up described the experience as, “ wow, man, this is better than hard drugs. this is- (sound of heavy breathing, followed by the sound of no breathing, followed by a thumping sound.)”.

“That sounds exactly like a body falling”, the Moon Shot Interim-Director said.

As the guy stepped out of the elevator on the twenty-millionth floor, he found out quickly that there is no air on the moon. The designers knew this but, “forgot to account for it. Well, that’s the way it goes sometimes”.