According to the latest genetic news, humans and mice share 80 percent of the same genes. They’re just arranged differently. Yea, a little.

“Ya, der unly be little bitty difference tween ze man un ze mouse”, said Dr. Jose Riverez, using his German accent.

“Hey, Minnie,” said Mickey Mouse, “another 20 percent and we’re out of showbiz.”

The researchers also announced that they don’t know what all the genes actually do or what their purpose is. It could be possible to make a man look like a mouse. No explanation as to why that needed to be done was given.

A spokesperson for N.O.W. was quoted as saying, “Men already act like rats so they may as well look like them too. I hope that doesn’t sound too bitter .”

For Men Only magazine took a poll of it’s literate readers and he responded by writing that he’d like this information to go towards making women, “better-looking and dumber.”

The scientists showed a map of the genetic make up of humans and mice and pointed out the similarities. There were some disputes amongst themselves as to which was which. One screamed out, “These aren’t even connected to themselves much less to the other!”

“You idiot, we’re not playing connect the dots here. We’re playing God. I mean-”

The Pope said he would excommunicate any Catholic scientist who worked on this project. He also said he’d excommunicate any non-Catholic although he wasn’t sure he was allowed to do that. Billy Graham said that, yes, he could do that but it didn’t count.

Steven Spielberg has bought the movie rights to it and is trying to get Tom cruise to play the lead gene. He’s thinking of Madonna or Brittney Spears for the female lead.

“Obviously they have the most experience with genes.”

Madonna laughingly replied, “That’s jeans, not genes.”

The average guy in the bar said he didn’t much care, “as long as it doesn’t affect football. I know the basketball guys have been altered but let’s keep the football guys normal.”