The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding toward Dry Gulp, Nevada. The Lone Ranger wanted to help out the good folks of this town. Since he was filthy rich from the silver mine he stole off of Tonto, he could afford to do as he pleased.

“Tonto! Was that you?”.

“No, Kemo Sabe, it was Silver”, Tonto replied.

“Oh, sure, blame the horse”.

He and Tonto rode slowly up the street to the marshal’s office. They dismounted and tied Silver and the pony up. As they turned they got a huge surprise. The marshal had a shotgun aimed at them.

“Either a you so much as twitches I’ll blow you to kingdom come”, the marshal told them.

“What? I’m the Lone Ranger and this is my faithful companion, Tonto. We’re here to help you to-”, the Lone Ranger started to say.

“What I see is a man wearin’ a mask and an Indian. That’s what I see. You drop them guns real slow like. This here is a double-barreled shotgun I’m aiming at you”.

“I know what it is, white-eyes”, Tonto said to him.

“Shh”, scolded the Lone Ranger. “This guy might be loco en lo cabeza or all we know. Don’t agitate him”.

“No, you don’t want to do any of that agitating stuff, Indian. I don’t rightly know what it is but it’s probably some heathen Indian thing. I ought to shoot you right now”.

“Agitate means to upset you. The Lone Ranger believes you are mentally unbalanced and might not be in control of your id. He’s afraid your inner child might take control causing you to do something you might not intend to do”, Tonto told him.

“Huh?”, the marshal asked.

“The Lone Ranger thinks you might be nuts”, Tonto replied.

“Nuts? Me? I ain’t the one wearing a mask. If anyone here’s nuts I’d say it was this Lone Ranger fella. Man, how do you get those pants on? I seen paint on a house looser than that”, the marshal then said.

“My pants aren’t any of your concern. I’m pretty buff and I like to show it. Good Lord! We’re here to help you for free and this is the thanks I, uh, we get?”, the Lone Ranger complained.

“Well, Mr. Goody Two-shoes, I reckon I don’t need your help. Or the Indian’s. Ain’t been nothing worse than a fist fight here in years”.

“Ain’t what we hear. Come on, marshal, there’s nothing embarrassing about getting help. You’re just one man. Sometimes, one man isn’t enough. I hear that Dry Gulch is the roughest town in Nevada”.

“That’s what I hear too. Thing is, this ain’t Dry Gulch. This is Dry Gulp, on account of there ain’t much good water around here. Lot’s of diarrhea, though. Most folks have two outhouses. One ain’t going to do it”.

“Well, marshal, I’d like to stay and listen to you but we have a job to do. Come on, Tonto. Hi-ho, Silver! Away!”

“Uh, you ain’t going with him?”, the marshal asked Tonto.

“Yea, I’ll catch up to him later. Silver’s fast but doesn’t have any endurance. He also drank a lot of the water from the trough. Can I useyour outhouse?”

“Sure, it’s out back. Careful, I drink a lot of water too”.