Back in 1928 the only way to get across the rivers to Charleston from the East Cooper area was to use the ferry. Being 1928 and the South it was no big deal. Only a few people owned cars and only a few people needed to cross over. Some futuristic thinker built a bridge and charged a toll to use it.

Naturally, he went bankrupt. The state took over the bridge and opened it as a free bridge. The state didn't care how many people used it. It was a gift and didn't concern them. It didn't concern them when ships hit the bridge. It didn't concern them when the bridge turned red from rust.

"What's wrong wid red?"

Then the East Cooper area grew like the wart on Aunt Martha's face. People, referred to as voters, started to gripe. The bridge had this tendency to move in the wind. It moved when a truck went over it. It made people nervous. The state needed to fix it.

They built a new bridge. Everyone made money on the deal. It was a politician's dream come true. They kept the old bridge too. It was still free. They did ban trucks so that it only moved in the wind. They figured that would keep people happy. It didn't.

Now there is a new bridge being built. This new bridge is by a new generation of politicians. They are better educated. They knew they could milk the last dollar from this project. Add a distinctive tower and there's a couple more dollars. Add a bike lane and more dollars get spread around. Then the clincher. Add a walking lane.

A walking lane. The bridge is four miles long. It goes to a height of 160 feet. It's hot and humid here most of the time. Someone is going to walk from the East Cooper side to the Charleston side?

"Wahl, ya nevah know", the Governor said.

Thing were going well. Everyone was ahead of schedule. Couldn't wait to get the money and skedaddle in case there was some flaw. They were putting one of the guilders in after closing the old bridge. It was to be dome by 6 a.m. There was a small hitch.

"Boss, the one side fits, the other don't", the foreman told the engineer.

"Huh? Then mack it fit. Ahm busy wid this heah donut".

They used a series of cranes and pulleys to join the two sides up. The reporters all wanted to know how that was possible.

"Sir, didn't you, in fact, have to bend the guilder to make it meet the holes for bolting?", one reporter asked.

"What? Honey, I don' unnnerstan ya", the engineer replied.

"Oh. Okay. Bub, dinna yall haff ta bend the thing ta make it fit?"

"Oh. Wahl, jus' a lil' bit".