It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to- whatever. Apparently it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to be a rocket scientist. Lisa Nowak is proof of that. She has gone from poster girl to posting bond. She decided to confront her rival for the affections of a fellow astronaut. That he wasn’t aware of her as a romantic interest didn’t matter to Lisa. She was aware of it. That was enough.

She first considered stealing the space shuttle. That would cut her time to Florida to about ten minutes. Then she remembered that the shuttle can’t takeoff, only land. Okay, the Yugo it is. Her Yugo gets like 400 miles to the gallon especially if she shuts the engine off on the down slope. She didn’t want to waste time on pit stops so she wore an adult diaper. She had a BB gun, fully loaded and ready for action, a dull knife and pepper spray. The knife was so dull about all it was good for was spreading peanut butter which she took along to snack on. The cops found it smeared all over the car along with some other substance. The Crime Lab said it was "Caca".

Trucker Bobby Shanks has been driving an eighteen-wheeler for thirty years and has seen it all. He has now. He passed Lisa outside Houston and glanced over. He almost flew off the road at what he saw.

"Breaker, breaker, this is Bad Bob. You ain’t gonna believe what I just saw. Umm, hold on. Uh, I don’t believe it my own self. Forget it".

Meanwhile, a NASA spokesman said that "Lisa Nowak’s status as an astronaut remains as it was."

One reporter yelled out, "You mean to say you'll send her back into space on a shuttle?"

The spokesman replied, "Huh? Are you nuts!? She's not getting anywhere near a shuttle!"

"But, didn’t she do a great job repairing the broken part?", another reporter asked.

"Yes, she did. She also carved some initials inside a heart we found out later."

The object of Lisa’s attention held a news conference.

"What lead you to believe something was wrong?", was the first question.

"Uh, probably the diaper. That’s unusual for a middle-aged woman to be wearing."

After her arrest, she appeared in bond court for her preliminary hearing.

"Counselor, how does your client plead", the judge asked.

"Not guilty, Your Honor, Umm..."

"Umm? Umm what? Not guilty by reason of insanity? I’d be open to that"

"Objection, Your Honor!", the assistant DA screamed. "She’s not mentally incompetent! She’s an astronaut!"

"So? What would your definition of crazy be? If driving across the South in a Yugo, armed with a BB gun and a dull knife and wearing nothing but a diaper isn’t it, then nothing is", the Judge said.

The Assistant DA said, "Your Honor, we intend to prove that the defendant knew right from wrong. That's all that matters here."

"Well, I doubt the defendant knows right from left but the competency hearing will determine that."