What Happened To Leroy Brown?

When we left Leroy Brown, he was lying on the floor looking “like a jigsaw puzzle with a couple of pieces gone”. What happened then? Did he bleed to death? What happened to Bad Ole Leroy with a 32 in his pocket and a razor in his shoe?

The cops took him to the ER. The doc there said he was cut up pretty bad. Worse slicing he’d seen since med school.

“He should be dead”, is how the doctor worded it.

“I wish, but he ain’t. He’s all yours now”, the cop responded.

The ER doctor turned to his nurse and said, “I don’t know where to start”.

“Well, for openers, we could try counting the pieces. Looks to me like he isn’t all there”, was her reply.

Leroy wasn’t all there. He was mostly there but not all there. He was missing a finger, two toes, his lower lip, the end of his nose and his right ear.

“Hold it! I found the ear. Wonder how it got there?”, the doctor said.

“Well, don’t give it to me. I’m not touching it now”, the nurse responded.

“You know, whoever did this did a heck-of-a job of cutting. I don't think I could have done it any better myself”.

Leroy still likes to gamble and wear fancy clothes. He loves Lincoln Continentals and diamond rings. He doesn’t have any of those things now. He lives in a box in an alley.

The downtown ladies don't call him Treetop Lover and the men don't call him Sir.

Everyone calls him Hey.