The judge wanted to get a settlement in this case. He didn't want to waste a lot of court time with it. He didn't want to have to listen to a lot of stupid testimony from stupid experts. He didn't to be publicly embarrassed.

"Your Honor", the plaintiff's attorney said, " my client feels he deserves $10,000 dollars for mental anguish. Of course, that's also $30,000 for punitive damages."

"Good grief! The man ordered a steak done medium and that's what he got!", cried the defendant's lawyer.

"Medium!? There was so much blood rolling out of that steak you could have given a transfusion to the cow!"

"That's absurd on it's face. The cow was dead! Medium means dark on the outside and pink in the middle. That's what medium means."

"Then your chef or cook or whatever he calls himself must be colorblind."

"Oh? Picking on the disabled now, are we? I'm going to file a countersuit for discrimination!"

"And I'll file a suit for extortion and for filing a frivolous suit."

"And I'll whip your butt, you scrawny little twerp."

"Think so? I'm a black belt in Kua Tu Dung, you sissy."

"Oh, sissy is it? That's sex discrimination. I mean, if I was gay, which I'm not. I'm just trying it for a while to see if I like it."

"You couldn't kick my butt if I bent- forget it."

The judge was thinking to himself that his mother wanted him to become a doctor. No, he wanted to be a lawyer and then a judge. As a doctor he could order an autopsy on these two.