What's Wrong With This Place?

“What’s wrong with the place”, the agitated landlord was asking.

“It fails to meet the housing standards, sir”, answered Lori Drake, a Housing Authority supervisor.

“What? Why? What’s wrong with the place? Sure, it’s a little old and stuff but I ain’t charging folks very much to live there”.

“Sir, people shouldn’t be living there at all. These violations need to be addressed or we will have to condenm the place”, Lori told him.

“Yea? Then where will they live? Huh? Tell me that”, the landlord replied.

“Sir, that’s not my department. We inspect and then approve or take action.”, Lori told him.

“It says here I have roaches. They ain’t my roaches. Ain’t my fault people bring ‘em in and live dirty”.

“Sir, do you have a record of any spraying? Yes, roaches will come in. What we found was that they come in and stay alive. They reproduce and multiply rapidly. People have a right to live without sharing their homes with roach colonies”.

“Spray? That cost money. Why don’t the folks spray their ownselves? For that matter, why don’t they squash the little buggers? That would be fun, seems to me”.

“No, you need to exterminate and then maintain a spray schedule”, Lori told him.

“Well, I don’t agree but what can I do? Okay, release my money and I’ll spray the place”.

“No, no. You have to spray and get rid of the bug infestation. Then, we will re-examine the property. If it passes inspection, we’ll release the money”, Lori told him.

“I need the money to get the spraying done. I need the money to take care of all these other things”.

“We can’t release the money until after the re-inspection”.

“I don’t have this kind of money. If I don’t get it, I can’t do this. Then what?”

“We would proceed with comdemnation”, Lori replied.

“That means the renters have to leave”.

“Yes, it does”, Lori said.

“Then they won’t have anyplace to live. What about that?”.

“Sir, I told you, that’s not my department.”

“So, if they end up living in a box in an alley, that’s okay?”

“No, sir, it’s not. But, that’s a police problem, not mine”.