James Brown is dead. How can that be? The man was energy defined. He was the Godfather of Soul who never stopped. At the end of three hours he would crawl off the stage and go to his hotel room and sleep for a while. His fans, and everyone was, would have to sleep in their seats for a while before they could crawl home and sleep. Goodbye, James brown, goodbye.

There were a few problems at the wake. There would have to be or it wouldn't be James Brown. For one thing, he wouldn't be still. The minister, Jesse Jackson, was yelling, "He was the Godfather of soul, he was Rock 'N Roll, he was-", and James Brown kept jumping up and dancing. Jesse tried grabbing him, how stupid id that?, and got bounced through the stained glass windows. Jesse never shut up though the whole way out.

A couple of his old lady fans tried to grab James. Their wakes are scheduled for the same day. James Brown will probably make an appearance.

Finally a couple of ushers, a couple of huge ushers, managed to get James back in the coffin. He wouldn't stay there so they tried to super glue him. Ha!!! They don't make glue that can keep James brown down. They tried heavy straps, the kind they use in mental hospitals. James Brown thought, well, not thought, being dead and all, but they didn't hold him down. James Brown wasn't going to be still. Finally, someone used the ultimate on him, the one thing that even James couldn't fight ...duct tape. It kept him in the coffin for the rest of the service and, after someone thought to tape his mouth, kept him quiet.

His people decided, because they knew, just knew, that his grave would have to have a double liner. One of them had better be Cryptonite.

All said and done, rest in peace, James brown, you've earned it. As for me, goodbye but I wouldn't want to live within a hundred miles of your grave. The ground has become an earthquake zone.

Thank you, James Brown, thank you and goodbye.