Colin Powell, as was his style, was sitting quietly at the meeting. He then decided to show that he was one of the guys.

"If we decide to invade Iraq I want you to know I'm behind the decision 100 per cent."

"Uh, Colin, what's with this "if" stuff. There's no if involved. One day I'm going to call a meeting and say, 'Let's roll'".

Dick Cheney, being less polite, told Powell, "This is a done deal. We're going in. I don't believe the 100 per cent stuff. I think you're behind us, like, 95 per cent."

Before Powell could respond Donald Rumsfeld jumped in with, "You' were a four-star general! You were the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff the last time. You let him get away. We shouldn't have to be going in now."

Nice, Mr. Sensitivity. Cheney had your job then and W's dad had his job then. The President, clearly uncomfortable where this had gone, spoke up, "Don, we did try to kill him last time. We'd bomb Palace A only to find out he'd went to Palace Alpha bravo. He's one slick dude."

Cheney added, "Yea, he sure is. This time, though, we're going to find him and blow him right off his toilet seat. Then we're going to flush him down the proverbial drain. There's no if about that, either."

Meanwhile, up in the hills of Tennessee, a tall, bearded man looked out over the valley pondering the question of invading Irag. He was heard to mutter, "If I'd gotten three hundred more votes. If, if, if."