Hog Holler, W.Va, is one of the typical small towns that dot the countryside. The name’s origin is unknown. There must have been a reason to call the place Hog Holler. Not a good reason, just a reason.

It has the typical homes. Some are better than others. The really nice ones set on blocks and the riffraff are still on wheels. Some of the tires have gone flat over the years giving a whole new slant to the word tilt. Getting in the house is an uphill climb. All of the furniture is on the downside. So are all the people.

To control traffic Hog Holler decided to make the road one-way. For Elmer Gruddy to get to his mama’s place takes him an hour to get to the next road and circle around. Getting home takes less than a minute since she lives just down the road a ways. Unfortunately, it’s the wrong way. The road has also has tendency to move in a rainstorm.

The folks there aren’t illiterate as some believe. The average Hog Hollerer knows 25 letters of the alphabet. None of then get the C at all. They all say “qball” and “qbe”. The other missing letter is random. They all have trouble with one of them.

“Okay, Homer, what’s this letter?”, the school marm asked.

“It be a W, maam”, Homer politely told her even though he thought she should know it, being a teacher and all.

“No, Homer, that’s not right. It’s a M”.

“Wahl, maam, I hates to argu wid ya but, maam, I do believes ya’s holdin’ it upside dahn”, Homer said.

Little Willy’s store started out at ground level like everyone else’s. He jacked it up to take the wheels off and the jacks slipped. The trailer went down to the hubs. Then it started to sink. It sank a little more each year. Willy had to keep digging a ramp out. In a few years he thinks he’ll be able to put planks across the roof and add a second story.

Hog Holler’s big claim to fame is that Sylvester Stallone once thought of driving through the place. Then he saw a sign for the Big Road and turned on it. You can’t say anything bad about Sly in Hog Holler.