Harmon was a self-reliant man. He lived off what nature provided. What little cash he needed or wanted he earned as a hunting guide. No one knew the mountains as well as Harmon. He knew where the game was and, just as important, where it wasn’t. He didn’t’t make a lot of money but it was enough for his needs.

He went into town to get a real meal at a real restaurant with real people to serve him and cook for him. It was Dill’s Diner. It was a real dive to be truthful. Thing is, Harmon didn’t know that. Compared to the way he normally ate, and what that was, Dill’s Diner was a four-star restaurant.

“Hi, Harmon. Down out of the hills, I see”, May said to him.

“Yep, wanna real meal, served by a pretty lady”, Harmon leered.

May was less than impressed. It was like being told you have a nice throat by a vampire. Fact is, Harmon gave May the creeps. She knew he was harmless but creepy, like those noises in the night.

“Well, take that booth there in the back and I’ll be right with ya”, May told him.

“Nah, I don’t want to sit there. I want to sit up here so’s I can see out the window”, Harmon replied.

“Harmon, sit back there. I don’t care if you can see out the window or not. People can see in the window and our reputation ain’t that much to begin with. Plus, I can seat people away from you”, May told firmly.

“Now, why’s that, May?”, Harmon asked. He really didn’t know.

“Harmon, there’s a old saying that folks can’t smell their own stink. But, other’s can. You ain’t exactly a breath of fresh air, ya know”, May informed him.

“Well, maybe I do smell a bit ripe”, Harmon agreed.

“As ripe as three-day old roadkill. You could at least take a bath before ya come ramblin’ inta town. I bet I’m the only woman in town that talks to you. That’s only ‘cause I gotta. I bet the hookers turn you down”, May went on.

Well, he wasn’t going to admit that. There are some thing money won’t buy. Dang! Maybe taking a bath might be the thing to do. Maybe May would go out with him if he bathed, got some new duds and a haircut. Have to consider the odds on that. Have to consider if she was worth it. As she walked away he watched her and decided she was worth it.

Harmon walked into the Lucky Day Motel. The desk clerk looked at Harmon and put his foot next to the 911 button. He didn’t think that would do him any good though. All it would do is let the cops see him sliced into small pieces. Yea, a lot of good that is.

“Y-y-yes, sir?”

“I want a room”, Harmon said.

“A room? Here?”, the clerk stammered.

“Yea. This is a motel, ain’t it?”, Harmon said.

“Well, yes, sir, it is. If you’ll fill this registration form out, I’ll get you a room”.

Harmon filled out the form, at least as much as he could.

“I ain’t got a drivers license. I ain’t got plates on my truck neither so I ain’t got no numbers there. This here part where it asks what card I want to use. I reckon you mean credit card. I ain’t got one a them neither. I’m paying cash”, Harmon told the clerk.

“Cash?”.

“Yea, cash. You know, folding green. You do take cash, dontcha?”, Harmon went on.

“Yes, sir, it’s company policy. At least it is for now”.

“Then it’s all settled”, Harmon said.

The clerk really wanted to step on the 911 button. He gave Harmon his keycard. Then, after Harmon was out of sight, he sprayed the lobby with air freshner. He wanted to take a shower too.

Harmon had stopped and bought new clothes on the way over. The store clerk had convinced him that he didn’t need to try them on. The clerk guaranteed they’d fit. The clerk thought that if they didn’t they’d have to be burned anyway. Harrmon took a long, long shower. He had to take the dirt, grime and God knows what all off in layers. His hair alone took five washings.

Harmon looked in the mirror and decided he needed a haircut. Well, dang!,I can do this myself he thought, so he did. He did it with his Bowie knife. He also shaved., not with the Bowie knife though. It wasn’t that sharp. He even splashed on some kind of sissified stuff on his face. Wow! Now he did smell.

After getting dressed, Harmon took a look in the mirror. Didn’t recognize himself. Maybe May wouldn’t either. That could be a good thing actually. He thought he looked pretty good. He didn’t like the way he looked but he did like the way May looked.

He went over to Dill’s Diner. At first May didn’t know who he was. Then when he told her she laughed and told him he looked great. He looked handsome and sexy. She was thinking the hookers wouldn’t turn him down now.

“May, I want to take you out”, Harmon said,

“Harmon, I ain’t going out with you”, May said.

“Why not? I got all cleaned and spruced up. I did it for you, May”, Harmon told her.