Why

What’s the point of wearing shorts and a sweater? Think the brain doesn’t know it’s just as cold down there as up here?

“Well, my arms get cold”, she says.

“Your legs don’t?”, you ask.

“Well, since you’re making fun of me, you’re never going to know”, she says.

Why is it that the government doesn’t imprison every car salesman for fraud?

Why wear underwear? If you don’t get into an accident and go to the hospital, who’s going to know? Maybe Mama was brainwashing you. After all, if you wipe right, you don’t need them. Be sure to wash your hands afterwards too. Whatever germs you have will be dangerous to anyone else. That make any sense? You can live with them but no one else can. Right.

Who thought up the idea of burying a jar of pickled cabbage in the yard for five years and then digging it up and eating it? If the worms didn’t want it, why would you? That isn’t rice floating on the top. It would have been a swarm of flies if they’d lived to adulthood. Of course, it’s pure protein, so eat it and be quiet. Don’t stray too far from the bathroom though.

Emergency brake? Is that a joke? In an emergency that your regular brakes don’t stop you, you’re going to have time to set the emergency brake? How? The seatbelt slams you back and the airbag attempts to smother you. You aren’t setting any emergency brake.

Recently departed? Gone to meet the Lord? Passed onto a better life? The guy’s dead, stone cold dead. He wasn’t the “dearly beloved”, when you think about it. You can’t speak badly of the dead? Why not? The dead guy isn’t going to argue the point with you.

Whatever happened to freak shows? you’d go to the fair and see embalmed midgets, tattoed albinos, bearded ladies, snake eaters, all the good stuff. Where are they now? Haven’t seen a good freak show for years. What do they do now? I doubt they had a retirement plan. Maybe there is an Old Freaks Home somewhere. Wish I knew where. I’d go visit the poor old dears.