Ben, the family pet, was your normal, run of the mill cat. He ate, played when he wanted to and threw up hairballs in your shoes. Nothing exceptionally odd about him. Then he became the flying cat. He became a psycho. Show a travel cage to him and he plops over, his eyes roll back into his head and he sleeps for two days.

Someone decided that taking him on a plane trip would work if he was tranquilized first. Tranquilized? He was traumatized. He fell, or was pushed, out of his carrier, landing on his head. He bounced a time or two. Ben didn’t know it. He was all the way gone.

He got through security just fine. It was obvious he was no threat. It wasn’t all that obvious he was even alive. As they waited for the plane, the two girls decided to check Ben out. Each opened an end of the carrier. Each forgot to close it up tight. When their plane was called, Mom picked up the carrier and Ben went flying. He flew straight down. He didn’t know it and he didn’t care.

“Hello, I’d like to take my cat on the plane with me.”

“Yes, maam. Is it a domesticated cat?”

“What? It’s the family cat.”

“Yes, maam. Is it a domesticated cat?”

“Of course it is! Do you think it’s a lion?’

“My second cousin has a pet lion. He can’t bring the lion on the plane himself. He has to have it shipped.”

“I don’t care how the cat gets there.”

“Well, I’m going to assume it’s some little kitty cat. You have to have an airline approved carrier. Then-”

“Where do I get one?”

“At many pet stores and most airlines. Of course, it has to meet our guidelines and we’re very strict.”

“I see. So, I’d be better off to buy from you?”

“Well, I’d say the chance are we wouldn’t sell you a unapproved carrier. Then, you have to buy him a ticket.”

“Buy the cat a ticket? That’s nuts!”

“Umm, maam, we’re in this for a profit. No one flies free.”

“It’s a cat!”

“Yes, maam, you told me that. We do give a special fifty per cent discount for pets. You have to tranquilize the cat beforehand. We’ve had some incidents. Also, the carrier has to be placed in luggage rack.”

“Huh? Why do I have to buy a ticket for him then? I don’t buy a ticket for my luggage and it goes in the overhead rack.”

“Well, uh, yes, maam, that’s true. However, we’re not talking about luggage, we’re talking about a pet cat. He, or she, or whatever, needs a ticket; needs to be completely tranquilized ahead of time; needs to be in one of our airline’s approved carriers.”

“What will all that cost? How much? That’s more than you’re charging me for my ticket!!”

“Well, ah, yes, maam, it looks that way. Perhaps you should also take a tranquilizer.”