The submarine captain ordered the periscope up. He looked into it and then bellowed, "Who put this picture in here? How did anyone get a picture of my wife naked?"

No one would admit to doing it or tell who did but everyone stared at young Mr. Smith, the newest Ensign. The Captain glared at him. Mr. Smith looked as innocent as a newborn babe. The Captain was positive he did it but how to prove it? Prove it? The Captain didn't have to prove it.

"Mr. Smith, I want a point by point drawing of the forward torpedo room by 0600. You read me, mister?!"

"Aye, aye, Captain", Mr. Smith replied.

At 0601 the Captain bellowed, "Why is there a drawing of Mickey Mouse in this torpedo room, mister?"

"Sir? That's not Mickey Mouse. It's the overhead wiring and the thingy that holds the torpedo in place. Must be an optical illusion, sir."

"Ensign, you've watched too many comedies. I am not a tolerant man and this is the real U.S.Navy. You'd better straighten up and fly right."

"Sir? Begging the Captain's pardon, this is a submarine"